“When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.” John 20:20 (NKJ emphasis added)
For years, I have loved the song “Scars” by the band I Am They. As typical with the Holy Spirit, the lyrics have meant different things in different seasons of life, and I’m sure every person could share a separate testimony from the same words.
They sing:
“So I'm thankful for the scars
'Cause without them I wouldn't know your heart”
Notice the song doesn’t say:
“I’m thankful for the cut.”
“Lord, you’re teaching me so much through the bleeding.”
“Thank you, God. I cried myself to sleep again last night.”
Scars take time.
Perspective takes time.
Character development takes time.
Spiritual maturity takes time.
Faith can absolutely allow us to praise God in a life storm by clinging to the promise that He can work all things for our good (Romans 8:28), however, human nature rarely lets us raise our hands in praise as fire rains down.
Death.
Depression.
Addiction.
Divorce.
Medical scares.
Financial ruin.
Relationship heartache.
Only in hindsight can we sing:
“I can see, I can see
How you delivered me”
In Christ’s death, those closest to him– friends, family, followers– were experiencing unimaginable loss and heartache. Although they had learned from the Master himself, they weren’t praising at the foot of the cross, they were devastated.
Like us, they could not comprehend how Christ would turn their loss and grief to good. Not even factoring in the temple veil that would tear (Matthew 27:51) or the big picture plan of John 3:16, they were sad beyond measure within the parameters of their little corner of the world.
In John 20, following Jesus’ resurrection and his appearance to the disciples where it is written, “On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.” John 20:20 (emphasis added)
The scars were proof. Scars don’t form on someone who is dead. Scars show that some healing has taken place, and for us, that time has passed.
That time usually allows us the perspective we need for emotions to simmer and thoughts to be less foggy. We can, within our very limited capacity, begin to piece together a bigger purpose to our pain.
Don’t miss this important piece of the process, friend.
Wounds don’t heal if you pick.
Scars won’t form if you don’t allow that healing to take place.
What you do in the waiting– in the healing process– is imperative.
Ideas for that ever so difficult healing time:
S– Seek the Healer
Seeking Christ in any season is always going to be at the top of the list. His life, death, burial, and resurrection are evidence of His love for you. The Bible is God’s love letter to all of us– the way He has documented that He has loved us from the beginning of time, and He stopped at nothing short of sacrificing His Son to spend eternity with us in Heaven.
In the waiting, be intentional in what you listen to and read.
C– Call on others
Surround yourself with others who support and encourage your healing and growing from your experience. It’s hard for me to process that not everyone wants to heal– some people want to bleed a little more, cry a little louder, and hurt a little longer. These are not the people to surround yourself with if your desire is to move from scarring to singing and ultimately to sharing.
It might mean time away from social media. It might look like intentionally having dinner with a friend once a week. Regardless, keep in contact with at least one other believer who can lift you up in prayer and encourage you.
Texting counts. When you can’t choke out a sentence without breaking down, just know that texting counts.
A–Acceptance of grace
Healing will never be a perfect process. You’re going to bump into a corner and bleed a little more. We’re human. However, we don’t have to make it worse by leaning on the wall while we’re down there.
I’ve found that when I’ve made some progress and a bump causes a “set back”, it’s usually because I wasn’t healing correctly. I still had a little something to learn or the Holy Spirit needed me to see a dangerous corner that I hadn’t really noticed before. Never have those bumps or delays in healing been useless.
R– Ready to share
Years ago, my pastor, who has always encouraged journaling and writing in our Bibles, had us turn to Luke 22: 31-32 where Jesus says, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.” (emphasis added)
My pastor had us to take our pens and write our names over Simon. So, my copy of God’s Word says, “Dana! Dana!”
Now there are multiple other messages in these two verses, but for scarring, notice verse 32 at the end. “When you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.” We will all falter. We will all struggle. However, when we have scarred and gained perspective on that season of life, we should share in Jesus’ name so others can learn.
Maybe they won’t completely avoid our mistakes, but they might heal quicker. Your sharing likely won’t be on a stage, but it’s absolutely the most amplified with those who know you best– friends, family, co-workers.
Friends, scars are not something to be ashamed of– wouldn’t Satan love for us to hide them all away under our Sunday School costumes? Let's agree to say, “No way!”
Scars mean we’re alive.
Scars show that we survived.